Using "OK?" At the End of a Statement Is Not Beneficial to Your Child.

Today I hear so many conversations in stores between parents, or grandparents, with young children in tow.  Although I'm not eavesdropping in on conversations, I hear the caregiver often ending their statement in "OK". 

For example: 

"You can eat your orange in the car, "OK?"? 

"I'll give you this in a few minutes, "OK?"?

"You can't have this now as I have to pay for it first, "OK?"?

If you have been using the "OK?" at the end of sentences, you may notice an upset child that will argue with you all the way to the car, all the way home, or both. And this most likely happens more often than not.  You see, you just actually gave a choice to your child as you just literally produced a Yes or No question. And they will give you and answer!

And then the altercation begins.....  

Welcome to: Better Language Interactions with Your Kiddos!

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Dropping the 'OK' at the end of a statement is nothing more than staying in control of a conversation or situation with your child.  

If you use "OK?" quite often, and are determined to stop after this blog, get ready to fail. 

Believe me, I want you to succeed 100%, but your motor planning of placing that "OK?" at the end of your statement is pretty engrained in you until, well for just a

long time, "OK"? 

All kidding aside, when you use the word "OK?", you're actually are asking the child

if it is "OK" to do what you just stated.  A young child actually has no idea of time or understanding of because at this age. And an older child realizes you are asking them a question, so here you may have a 50/50 chance of coming out unscathed.  

Actually, stopping the "OK?" at the end of sentences is one of the most difficult strategies for a parent or caregiver to do.  The reasons I've mostly heard why

parents have this difficulty are:

⚫ It's just part of me.

⚫ It just comes out.

⚫ It's no use, I've tried.

⚫ It's harder than I thought.

And all of these answers are perfectly true.  A habit becomes a habit, which are the most difficult things to break!

However, if you want to squash the behaviors you are actually causing, you have a choice to stop it, "OK?"!

The Good News!

So, now let's think of what beneficial outcomes will occur once the "OK?" is dropped from the end of statements. Just remember, these results will NOT be immediate!

⚫ Your child will come to understand your statement is NOT a choice.

⚫ Your child no longer hears a question which a response is expected.

⚫ Your child learns to wait and becomes satisfied with a choice given, such as:

Let's choose between banana chips or a cereal snack.

So, with your hard work, there is a Rainbow at the end of the "OK?" dilemma!

Cathy Bumgardner - Licensed Speech Therapist

#When I quit listening to communicative exchanges, I won't be retired, I'll be dead!